Rachel Renée Russell

Hardcover (1 to 2 lbs)

Connecticut

Tales from a Not-So-Happy Birthday

It’s Nikki Maxwell’s birthday!! Will it be a blast or a bust? Find out in Nikki’s newest diary, the thirteenth installment in the #1 New York Times blockbuster bestselling Dork Diaries series! Nikki and her BFF’s Chloe and Zoey have been planning a birthday party of epic proportions! There’s just one problem—Nikki’s mom says no way to the budget they need to make it happen. Nikki’s ready to call the whole thing off, but some surprising twists might take that decision out of her hands, and help comes from the person Nikki would least expect. One way or another, this will be a birthday that Nikki will never forget!

Dork Diaries 13

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Silly pictures of dog going through a school day. 

Light Paperback (1 lb or less)

Georgia

From the bus stop to the last bell, this photographic Step 2 early reader—consisting of school-themed poems—is sure to delight dog lovers and those anxious about going back to school. Most of the poems are from the hardcover picture books by husband-and-wife team Ron and Amy Schmidt, Loose Leashes and Dog-Gone School, and there are a few new poems and photos, too! Step 2 Readers use basic vocabulary and short sentences to tell simple stories. For children who recognize familiar words and can sound out new words with help.

Back to Dog-Gone School

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Annie Barrows

Light Hardcover (1 lb or less)

North Carolina

From the New York Times bestselling author of Ivy + Bean comes a hilarious new series featuring a high-energy, lovable troublemaker.

Meet 9-year-old Iggy Frangi. He's not a bad kid, he's really not. Okay, so he's done a few (a few is anything up to 100) bad things. And okay, he's not very sorry about most of them. People make a big deal about nothing. What's a little pancake here and there? Is that something to get mad about? Iggy doesn't think so. No one got hurt, so there's no problem. No one got hurt except for that one time, that one time when the Best Idea Ever turned into the Worst Idea of All Time.

Iggy is sorry he did it. He is really, really, really sorry.


"For what?" you might ask. "What did he do?"

Well, you'll have to read the book to find out.

Things Iggy will NOT do in this book:
Be the most polite kid ever.
Play the cello.
Think before acting.
Learn a lesson.
Regret his actions. (Most of them, anyway.)

The Best of Iggy

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Jason Reynolds

#hardcover #funny #fiction #juvenilefiction 

Minnesota

A Tale Told in Ten Blocks

A National Book Award Finalist Coretta Scott King Author Honor Book Carnegie Medal winner An NPR Favorite Book of 2019 A New York Times Best Children’s Book of 2019 A Time Best Children’s Book of 2019 A Today Show Best Kids’ Book of 2019 A Washington Post Best Children’s Book of 2019 A School Library Journal Best Middle Grade Book of 2019 A Publishers Weekly Best Book of 2019 A Kirkus Reviews Best Middle Grade Book of 2019 “As innovative as it is emotionally arresting.” —Entertainment Weekly From National Book Award finalist and #1 New York Times bestselling author Jason Reynolds comes a novel told in ten blocks, showing all the different directions kids’ walks home can take. This story was going to begin like all the best stories. With a school bus falling from the sky. But no one saw it happen. They were all too busy— Talking about boogers. Stealing pocket change. Skateboarding. Wiping out. Braving up. Executing complicated handshakes. Planning an escape. Making jokes. Lotioning up. Finding comfort. But mostly, too busy walking home. Jason Reynolds conjures ten tales (one per block) about what happens after the dismissal bell rings, and brilliantly weaves them into one wickedly funny, piercingly poignant look at the detours we face on the walk home, and in life.

Look Both Ways

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#hardcover #protectivecover #formerlibrarybook #humor #funny #brilliant

California

'Brett performs his magic on the traditional cozy,making the frame rock with laughter at human foibles and quake with well-placed surprises' - Booklist Starred Review

The genteel game of Real Tennis takes a murderous twist in Simon Brett's witty and entertaining new Fethering mystery

Jude's life has been turned upside-down thanks her new mant, Piers Targett, who's keen to get her involved in his hobby - or obsession - of Real Tennis. But when one of Piers' friends dies on the court in suspicious circumstances, Jude finds herself caught up in the police investigation. Meanwhile, Jude's neighbour Carole is trying to identify the human remains known locally as the 'Lady in the Lake.' As the two investigations become intertwined, Carole and Jude's efforts to find the truth look set to lead to more murders.


Simon Brett is the winner of The CWA Diamond Dagger 2014.

Corpse on the Court

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Dav Pilkey

Indiana

Captain Underpants and the Attack of the Talking Toilets

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Alabama

When a plane crash strands thirteen teen beauty contestants on a mysterious island, they struggle to survive, to get along with one another, to combat the island's other diabolical occupants, and to learn their dance numbers in case they are rescued in time for the competition.

Beauty Queens

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#hardcover #jamespatterson #funny #juvenilefiction #illustrated #chapterbook #NYTbestseller #preteen

Michigan

A Middle School Story

Winning the New York state finals in a middle-grade comedy contest, wheelchair-bound Jamie travels to Boston to compete in the national semi-finals, an ambition that is interrupted by a friend's troubles and a family health scare. 750,000 first printing.

I Even Funnier

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Alex Gilvarry

Washington

"New York, 1973. Alan Eastman--washed-up writer, public intellectual, husband, father, and philanderer--has hit the rock bottom. Once a revered man of letters, he now finds himself alone on the floor of his study, reeling from the sudden departure of his wife and demoaning his faded glory. But when he receives an unexpected phone call from an old rival, he discovers the solution to all of his problems: he will fly to Saigon to write the definitive account of the Vietnam War and, on the wings of this triumphant comeback, regain the love of his wife and reestablish himself as the preeminent author of his time...[This book] captures a golden age in American culture, both celebrating and puncturing the romance of 1970s New York with the story of one vexatious yet unforgettable man's search for meaning in the face of advancing age, fading love, and a rapidly changing world."--Dust jacket flap.

Eastman Was Here

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Sarah Mlynowski

Lauren Myracle

Emily Jenkins

New York

The Upside-Down Magic kids are back in another topsy-turvy adventure in the next installment of this New York Times bestselling series, now a Disney Channel Original Movie!Some people in school are afraid of the kids in the Upside-Down Magic class. Others just call them flops. But Nory and her friends in Upside-down Magic won't let that stop them. Not with a school-wide talent show coming up! Except... Nory's afraid her fluxing magic will go wonky and upset her father. Pepper is worried that her abilities as a Fierce will make all the animals in the show run wild. Bax has some extreme new magic skills, but they can also be extremely embarrassing. And Elliott suspects there's a Sparkie spy who's looking to uncover UDM's talent-show secrets-and to use those secrets against them. In order to take the stage and make some magic, the Upside-Down Magic kids are going to have to band together... and find the right combination of talents to steal the show!

Showing Off

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#hardcover #nonfiction #funny #chelseahandler #comedy #comedian #chelsea Both books together. Ex library copies otherwise in great condition. 

Texas

Lies That Chelsea Handler Told Me & Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang

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Evan Douglas

Oregon

A Collection of Inspiring Animal and Pet Portraits

Wild Masterpieces is a collection bizarre portraits featuring cats, dogs, llamas, chicks, pandas, and more. Based on the Instagram account of the same name, this humor book is brimming with animals gracing the grandest landscapes our world has to offer. Each of these 60 portraits remind us that if we stay paw-sitive, life can truly be udder-ly wonderful. * Portraits are by designer Evan Douglas, who started the Wild Masterpieces Instagram account. * Each portrait is paired with an inspirational quote. * A mix of fan favorites and brand-new images Profound, mysterious, nonsensical--this is the world of Wild Masterpieces. This hilariously weird book is perfect for men and women of all ages, nature and animal lovers, fans of the Wild Masterpieces Instagram, and anyone looking for a fun and silly gift. * Includes never-before-seen photos of majestic animal portraits * A great humor gift for anyone who loves animals and needs a pick-me-up * Perfect for display on the coffee table as a conversation starter * Add it to the shelf with books like Sorry I Barfed on Your Bed (and Other Heartwarming Letters from Kitty by Jeremy Greenberg, Cats on Catnip by Andrew Marttila, and Sad Animal Facts by Brooke Barker.

Wild Masterpieces

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Andrew McDonald

It's a bird! It's a plane! It's--wait, it really IS a bird! Take another look, because what looks like an ordinary pigeon might just be a hero saving your butt! Meet the crime-fighting pigeons secretly flying around chasing bad guys in this hilarious illustrated series perfect for fans of BAD GUYS and DOG MAN.

What do REAL PIGEONS do? They fight crime, of course! Wait, what? You didn't know your town is protected by a secret squad of crime-fighting feathered friends? Well, you are about to get schooled. REAL PIGEONS solve mysteries! REAL PIGEONS fight bad guys! And REAL PIGEONS won't stop until your neighborhood is safe and the questions are all answered: Like, why have all the breadcrumbs disappeared? And which food truck smells the best?

Real Pigeons Fight Crime (Book 1)

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Justin Halpern

Alaska

"Human beings fear the unknown. So, whatever's freaking you out, grab it by the balls and say hello. Then it ain't the unknown anymore and it ain't scary. Or I guess it could be a shitload scarier." Fans of the #1 bestseller Sh*t My Dad Says will recognize the always-patient voice of Justin Halpern's dad as it crackles through the pages of this hysterical new book. The story begins when Justin takes his dad out to lunch to announce that he's decided to propose to his girlfriend. "You've been dating her for four years," his dad replies. "It ain't like you found a parallel fucking universe." But eventually he gives Justin some advice: that he should take a day off and think back over everything he's learned in life about women, relationships, and himself before making his decision. And that's just what Justin does—revisiting everything from his disastrous childhood crushes to the night he finally lost his virginity while working as a dishwasher at Hooters. I Suck at Girls is full of his dad's patented brand of wisdom. But it's also full of new characters just as funny as his dad—from his brother, who provides insights into wedding night rituals ("You stand in one corner of the room, and she stands in the other. You each take off one piece of clothing at a time") to his first boss, who warns Justin to man up: "That's what a man does. He takes his shots and then he scrubs the shit out of some dishes." The result is a pilgrim's progress through the landscape of sex and love—by one of the funniest writers at work today.

I Suck at Girls

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Matt Phelan

Nevada

“Absurdly entertaining. Victorious on all fronts.”—Booklist (starred review) Renowned for their courage, their chivalry, and their ability to fight mythical creatures, the Knights of the Round Table face a new band of dangerous opponents—MONSTERS! In the rip-roaring sequel to Matt Phelan’s acclaimed Knights vs. Dinosaurs, four daring knights and one intrepid archer face off against legendary monsters. This heavily illustrated middle grade adventure is a hilarious tale of derring-do that is perfect for reluctant readers and fans of The Terrible Two and The Wild Robot. Award-winning creator Matt Phelan’s Knights vs. Monsters is a highly illustrated, fast-paced adventure full of uproarious knightly hijinks, surprising secrets, and terrifying monsters. When a magical boat sweeps the Knights of the Round Table off to Scotland, they take on the evil Queen Morgause and her horde of monsters. With art on nearly every page, including an epic fight scene depicted in several graphic-novel style spreads, this engaging story is ideal for reluctant readers, aspiring knights, and fans of Gordon Korman’s Masterminds. “This rollicking story is suspenseful and silly. An excellent choice for all readers.”—School Library Journal (starred review)

Knights vs. Monsters

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Kara LaReau

At first Ugly Fish likes being alone in his tank so much that he eats any fish that tries to share it, but when he becomes lonely, he devises a better plan.

Ugly Fish

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Jon Scieszka

The campaign is going well. The SPHDZ word is getting out. 1000's of kids have signed up to say they are SPHDZ. But things haven't gotten any easier for Michael K. The SPHDZ are still trying to blend in to our Earth culture, but not very successfully. They're still mixing up Thanksgiving, cartoon plots, holidays, and commercials. This makes it especially hard for Michael K. to both hide the SPHDZ from Agent Umber and accomplish the SPHDZ Mission. He's forced to enlist the help of fellow fifth graders, Venus and TJ.

When they (Michael K. and the SPHDZ) are given the assignment to write and perform the school play, Umber thinks he's closing in on the aliens...the kindergartners playing the turkeys.

Spaceheadz Book #2!

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#hardcover #humor #childrensfiction #middlegrade #elementary #kids #fiction #funny unread copy 

As heard by kids everywhere on the Echo Dot Kids Edition, the Classroom 13 books are a hilarious new chapter book series-perfect for reluctant readers and fans of Roald Dahl, Captain Underpants, and Sideways Stories from Wayside School.

The Unlucky Lottery Winners of Classroom 13 is the first title in a series about the students of a very unlucky classroom. The easy-to-read chapters are full of humor, action, secret codes, and fun-and will prompt hours of conversation among friends, families, and classmates. The final chapter encourages young readers to write their own chapter and send it in to the author, Honest Lee.

When unlucky teacher Ms. Linda LaCrosse wins the lottery, she shares her winnings with her class-giving each student over a BILLION DOLLARS!

You might think this was nice, but it was not. It was a nasty idea. With great money comes awful allergies, terrible taxes, violent volcanoes, and other pesky problems. As the students of Classroom 13 are about to learn, winning the lottery is not always lucky.

The Unlucky Lottery Winners of Classroom 13

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#jonah #god #funny #children #bible#hardcover 

Hey God, I’ve Got Some Guy Named Jonah In My Stomach 

#hardcover #cookbook #southern #south #cuisine #funny #humor #wedding #bridal #bride Dust jacket has warping but the book itself is in good shape. 

Florida

The Official Southern Ladies' Guide to Hosting the Perfect Wedding

Even if you've never attended a wedding in the South, you'll find laughter in the pages of this deliciously entertaining slice of Southern life and love, complete with recipes, advice, and a huge dose of that famous charm

"In the Mississippi Delta, funerals bring out the best in people, while weddings, which are supposed to be happy occasions, bring out the worst." So say Gayden Metcalfe and Charlotte Hays, authors of the bestseller Being Dead Is No Excuse: The Official Southern Ladies' Guide to Hosting the Perfect Funeral, who turn their keen eyes and sharp wit from the end of the life cycle to the all-important midpoint. For anyone planning, participating in, or attending a wedding (Southern or not), this book will amuse, entertain, and provide advice for marital bliss, including:


 * It's OK to peek at an etiquette book, but if you rely too heavily on it, people will think that you are not fully acquainted with what is right and wrong.
 * Anything that was not done in the past doesn't need to be done now--consider this before ordering a groom's cake, especially one featuring a fishing-tackle or golfing theme.

Somebody Is Going to Die If Lilly Beth Doesn't Catch That Bouquet

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Book is in great condition! A small handful of pages that had pencil writing that has been erased or can be, but most pages are clean and unused. 

Have you ever wondered what to do when you meet an alien? Want to know the top ten hiding places if you're on the run? Or how to create the perfect beach day in your backyard? Find out in this jam-packed guide to life by Phineas and Ferb featuring tips, activities, and the show's trademark wacky humor. From diagrams of Phineas and Ferb's craziest inventions, to fun quizzes and trivia, to unfinished comic panels for readers to get creative, this awesome new hardcover format is sure to be a hit with fans of the imaginative stepbrothers.

Phineas and Ferb's Guide to Life

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Jay McInerney

Delaware

A Novel

Hailed byNewsweekas “a superb and humane social critic” with, according toThe Wall Street Journal,“all the true instincts of a major novelist,” Jay McInerney unveils a story of love, family, conflicting desires, and catastrophic loss in his most powerfully searing work thus far. Clinging to a semiprecarious existence in TriBeCa, Corrine and Russell Calloway have survived a separation and are thoroughly wonderstruck by young twins whose provenance is nothing less than miraculous, even as they contend with the faded promise of a marriage tinged with suspicion and deceit. Meanwhile, several miles uptown and perched near the top of the Upper East Side’s social register, Luke McGavock has postponed his accumulation of wealth in an attempt to recover the sense of purpose now lacking in a life that often gives him pause—especially with regard to his teenage daughter, whose wanton extravagance bears a horrifying resemblance to her mother’s. But on a September morning, brightness falls horribly from the sky, and people worlds apart suddenly find themselves working side by side at the devastated site, feeling lost anywhere else, yet battered still by memory and regret, by fresh disappointment and unimaginable shock. What happens, or should happen, when life stops us in our tracks, or our own choices do? What if both secrets and secret needs, long guarded steadfastly, are finally revealed? Whatisthe good life? Posed with astonishing understanding and compassion, these questions power a novel rich with characters and events, both comic and harrowing, revelatory about not only New York after the attacks but also the toll taken on those lucky enough to have survived them. Wise, surprising, and, ultimately, heart-stoppingly redemptive,The Good Lifecaptures lives that allow us to see–through personal, social, and moral complexity–more clearly into the heart of things.

The Good Life

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My husband never got around to reading it,so it’s up for sale!  

1001 Ways to Procrastinate 

 First edition #hardcover #fiction #funny #yayasinbloom name written on inside front cover Deckled right page edges. See photos.

Virginia

Looks back to the years of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood's origins in Thornton, Louisiana, during which Vivi, Teensy, Caro, and Necie endure crises of faith, lapses in parenting, brushes with alcoholism, and glimpses into racial bigotry.

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