"To whoever finds this book, my name is Dipper Pines, and I bring you dire warnings from a town filled with horror, mystery, and the supernatural! In order to survive, I've written a few tips and tricks to handling weirdness. And speaking of weirdness... HI!!! THIS IS MABEL!!!! Dipper promised me that if I stopped jumping on his bed he would let me help him with his book! I've got some AWESOME tips in here, like how to eat things you're not supposed to, Full-Contact Survival-Knitting, and how to make your own paper pet crumply! WOO!!! Mabel, you're messing up my intro! Anyway, I was about to teach you, the reader, everything I know about cracking top secret codes, fighting ghosts, and handling the unknown. So if you're brave enough, let's uncover a world of mystery together!"