Dave Barry

Light Hardcover (1 lb or less)

Washington

Like: Why Is There a Giant Eyeball on the Dollar?

Did you ever wish that you really understood money? Well, Dave Barry wishes that he did, too. But that hasn’t stopped him from writing this book. In it, Dave explores (as only he can) such topics as: • How the U.S. economy works, including the often overlooked role of Adam Sandler • Why it is not a good idea to use squirrels for money • Strategies that will give you the confidence you need to try for a good job, even though you are—let’s be honest—a no-talent loser • How corporate executives, simply by walking into their offices, immediately become much stupider • An absolutely foolproof system for making money in the stock market, requiring only a little effort (and access to time travel) • Surefire tips for buying and selling real estate, the key being: Never buy—or, for that matter, sell—real estate • How to minimize your federal taxes, safely and legally, by cheating • Why good colleges cost so much, and how to make sure your child does not get into one • How to reduce the cost of your medical care by basically not getting any • Estate planning, especially the financial benefits of an early death • And many, many pictures of Suze Orman But that’s only the beginning! Dave has also included in this book all of the important points from a book written by Donald Trump, so you don’t have to read it yourself. Plus he explains how to tip, how to negotiate for everything (including bridge tolls), how to argue with your spouse about money, and how much allowance to give your children (three dollars is plenty). He also presents, for the first time in print anywhere, the Car Dealership Code of Ethics (“Ethic Seven: The customer is an idiot”). Also, there are many gratuitous references to Angelina Jolie naked. You can’t afford not to buy this book! Probably you need several copies. What kind of financial shape are you in right now? This scientific quiz will show you. Be honest in your answers: If you lie, you’ll only be lying to yourself! The place to lie is on your federal tax return. What is your annual income? 1. More than $50,000. 2. Less than $50,000. 3. However much I get when I return these empties. Not counting your mortgage, how much money do you currently owe? 1. Less than $10,000. 2. More than $10,000. 3. Men are threatening to cut off my thumbs. How would you describe your portfolio? 1. Conservative, mainly bonds and blue-chip equities. 2. Aggressive, mainly options and speculative stocks. 3. My what? When analyzing an investment, what do you consider to be the most important factor? 1. The amount of return. 2. The degree of risk. 3. The name of the jockey. How do you plan to finance your retirement? 1. Savings. 2. Social security. 3. Sale of kidneys. —from the Introduction: “Why You Need This Book” Also available as a Crown eBook.

Dave Barry's Money Secrets

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Hardcover (1 to 2 lbs)

Massachusetts

Dave Barry Talks Back

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New York

Light Paperback (1 lb or less)

A 100% Fact-Free Book

If you're not already acquainted--nay, infatuated--with the works of the man who the New York Times calls "the funniest man in America," you can get cracking right now with this all-time favorite collection of Dave Barry's humor columns. Dave Barry's Bad Habits won't rot your teeth, cause your insurance premiums to go up, or make your kids go cross-eyed if they sit too close to it. It will, however, make you laugh so hard your middle actually moves (the best exercise, and possibly the only kind you'll be interested in after forty). Here, preserved for all time, are Barry's profoundest musings on such topics as how to get kids to stop smoking (eliminate tenth grade), what to do if your car is making loud noises (turn up the radio), and a solution to the battle of the sexes (let the men do housework, say, for the next six thousand years to even things up). Together they serve to expose the little insanities of everyday life and assure us that we're not completely alone in a world gone mad.

Dave Barry's Bad Habits

4c4dee3b-1d5f-4498-99ef-d204481b1eff-1

Virginia

The Pulitzer Prize-winning columnist presents his first novel, an off-the-wall detective caper that's been compared to the work of Elmore Leonard. I laughed so hard I fell out of a chair. This is the funniest book I've read in almost 40 years. Stephen King. Optioned by Disney for a major motion picture starring Tim Allen and to be directed by Barry Sonnenfeld.

Big Trouble

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Dave Barry is one of the funniest guys ever to write a newspaper column. His books are pretty funny too!  
This hardcover edition has some wear and a small tear on the dust jacket, but the pages are clean and unmarked and the binding is tight. 
(And frogs are mentioned too, so it’s a good book.)

Alaska

Dave is back -- and he's not taking this sitting down! What's been getting Dave Barry all worked up lately? What can possibly induce him to rise up -- yes, actually out of his chair -- in indignation? Well, lots of things. For instance: The plague of low-flow toilets (very important!) The monumental parent-misery quotient of school science fairs How the U.S. Army "lost" a one-million-dollar missile launcher The hidden dangers of wasabi "Specialty" coffees Celebrity low-fat, low-carbohydrate, low-everything diets Disasters at the FearPlex movie theaters His dangerous voyage through a cruise ship buffet Yes, all that, plus the real skinny on the IRS, airlines, Donald Trump, and so much more. It's all here in this new collection of columns from the writer we know as "the funniest man in America." From the Introduction People often ask me: "Dave, what is the best thing about being a professional humor columnist?" I always answer: "The best thing is that I can help others and make the world a better place." Then everyone has a hearty laugh, because, of course, I am lying. In fact, that's one of the great things about being a humor columnist: You can lie! You get PAID to lie! What other profession can say that? I have a wonderful job. By any objective standard of measurement, there is no better profession than humor columnist. That is why so many people want my job. It looks so easy! In fact, as you read the columns in this book, you may find yourself thinking: "Hey, I could do this. Any random person could do this!" That is where you are wrong, my friend. It takes a very special kind of random person to be a humor columnist. Every year, hundreds of thousands of people try their hand at this demanding profession. After a few months, almost all of them have given up and gone back to the ninth grade.

Dave Barry Is Not Taking This Sitting Down!

dda7c241-eeae-42e7-b1a5-dad940c083dd-1

Louisiana

The author presents a collection of his Pulitzer Prize-winning columns that take a look at the federal deficit, weddings, presidential candidates, and more

The Pulitzer Prize-winning humorist confronts middle age and mid-life crises in essays addressing the question of acting like a responsible grown-up, writing material of redeeming social value, and other aspects of turning forty

Dave Barry Turns 40

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Sticker residue on front and back. No markings and clean. See photos. Thank you for supporting our non-profit choir and supporting the voices of women and girls!

Heavy Hardcover (2 to 4 lbs)

Minnesota

Guide to Marriage and/or Sex, Babies and Other Hazards of Sex, Claw Your Way to the Top, Stay Fit and Healthy until You're Dead

Contains the complete and unabridged texts of: Dave Barry's guide to marriage and/or sex, Babies and other hazards of sex, Stay fit and healthy until you're dead, and Claw your way to the top.

Dave Barry's Guide to Life

6776e3b1-edcf-44f8-aca5-1303ffb66b23-1

Georgia

A Sort of History of the United States

The syndicated humor columnist and author of "Dave Barry's Greatest Hits" and "Babies and Other Hazards of Sex" offers simple and wildly humorous solutions to the problems of American education

Dave Barry Slept Here

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Florida

Paperback copy of Dave Barry's Bad Habits

Oklahoma

And no, he's not going to whine about it. In fact, he's not going to dwell on the negative aspects of turning 50 at all, like the weight gain that results from merely watching food commercials, or that you discover random hairs sprouting from unexpected sectors of your body. Instead, Dave is going to make all of you out there under the half-century mark envious with a rundown of the advantages of turning 50. For instance, you know all those newspaper articles about Middle East turmoil you read because you think you should? Dave doesn't read 'em, because with his eyes he can't! And you know all that energy you expend trying to look and sound hip? Dave doesn't, because after 50 it's hopeless and he's through trying to be one of the Boyz N the Burbz. And Dave writes not only about being 50, but also about 50 years of inventions (Oreos, Silly Putty), arts (Howdy Doody, TV commercials), politics (the Cold War, the Cold War, and more of the Cold War), and other baby boomer nostalgia. So call Dave and let him know how much you're looking forward to reading Dave Barry Turns 50. But not right now--he's sleeping. Ten Signs That You Might Be Losing It 1. You tend to forget things. 2. When you drive your car, you notice that people yell at you a lot. Often, these people are lying on your      hood. 3. On more than one occasion, while shaving, you have noticed that your razor seemed kind of dull. Upon closer examination, your razor turned out to be your toothbrush. 4. You're always searching for the right word or name. You'll be telling an anecdote, and you'll get stuck on a name, and you'll tell your listeners: "You know! That guy! With the thing! He has that thing! That guy!" And everybody will start trying to guess who you're talking about, as if you're playing charades, and finally, after ten minutes of this, it will turn out that the name you're trying to remember is: "The Pope." By this time, of course, you have no recollection of the original anecdote.   5. You sometimes address your spouse as "General Eisenhower." 6. You tend to forget things. 7. You sometimes wear a bathrobe to the office. 8. And it isn't your office. 9. It isn't your bathrobe, either. 10. You tend to forget things.

Dave Barry Turns 50

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Nice overall shape, a collection of bad lyrics in classic rock songs, clean smoke free

When funnyman Dave Barry asked readers about their least favorite tunes, he thought he was penning just another installment of his weekly syndicated humor column. But the witty writer was flabbergasted by the response when over 10,000 readers voted. "I have never written a column that got a bigger response than the one announcing the Bad Song Survey," Barry wrote.Based on the results of the survey, Dave Barry's Book of Bad Songs is a compilation of some of the worst songs ever written. Dave Barry fans will relish his quirky take. Music buffs, too will appreciate this humorous stroll through the world's worst lyrics. The only thing wrong with this book is that readers will find themselves unable to stop mentally singing the greatest hits of Gary Puckett.

Dave Barry's Book of Bad Songs

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An irreverent alternate perspective on recent world events features whimsical commentary on such topics as the 2000 election, the non-finding of weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, and the invention of pizza by Leonardo da Vinci.

Dave Barry's History of the Millennium (So Far)

67f3fdd8-b5ad-4bc9-868e-c334ec256e64-1

Utah

"Dave Barry is one funny human."
--San Francisco Examiner

For thousands of years, women have asked themselves: What is the deal with guys, anyway? What are they thinking? The answer, of course, is: virtually nothing. Deep down inside, guys are extremely shallow.

But that has not stopped Dave Barry from writing an entire book about them. If you're a guy--or if you're attempting to share a remote control with one--you need this book, because it deals frankly and semi-thoroughly with such important guy issues as:


Scratching
The role of guys in world history, including the heretofore-unknown relationship between the discovery of North America and golf
Why the average guy can remember who won the 1960 World Series, but not necessarily the names of all his children
The Noogie Gene
Why guys cannot simultaneously think and look at breasts
Secret guy orgasm-delaying techniques, including the Margaret Thatcher Method
Why guys prefer to believe that there is no such thing as a prostate
And much, much more



"Whether you're a guy--or attempting to share a bathroom with one--Barry has some wacky words of wisdom for you."
--USA Today

Dave Barry's Complete Guide to Guys

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From the Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist comes a celebration of the aging process. Not just Dave's, but that of the whole Baby Boom Generation--those millions of us who set a standard for whining self-absorption that will never be equaled, and who gave birth to such stunning accomplishments as Saturday Night Live!, the New Age movement, and call waiting. Here Dave pinpoints the glaring signs that you've passed the half-century mark:

- You are suddenly unable to read anything written in letters smaller than Marlon Brando.
- You have accepted the fact that you can't possibly be hip. You don't even know if "hip" is the right word for hip anymore, and you don't care.
- You remember nuclear-attack drills at school wherein you practiced protecting yourself by crouching under your desk, which was apparently made out of some kind of atomic-bomb-proof wood.
- You can't name the secretary of defense, but you can still sing the Mister Clean song.

So pop open a can of Geritol®, kick back in that recliner, grab those reading glasses, and let the good times roll--before they roll right over you!

Dave Barry Turns Fifty

The syndicated humor columnist offers simple and wildly humorous solutions to the problems of educating Americans on their nation's history.

When Dave Barry is on the loose, no one is safe! What Dave Barry did for the men’s movement in his Complete Guide to Guys and for foreign relations when he did Japan he now does for . . . everything in America. The rapacious observer of Tupperware ladies and leisure concept salesmen sounds off on: Football—Football is more than just a game. It is a potential opportunity to see a live person lying on the ground with a bone sticking out of his leg, while the fans, to show their appreciation, perform “the wave.” Sailing—There’s nothing quite like getting out on the open sea, where you can forget about the hassles and worries of life on land, and concentrate on the hassles and worries of life on the sea, such as death by squid. Gambling—Off-Track Betting parlors are the kinds of places where you never see signs that say, “Thank You for Not Smoking.” The best you can hope for is, “Thank You for Not Spitting Pieces of Your Cigar on My Neck.” “The good news: he’s funny as ever. The bad news: the book is only 304 pages.”—Los Angeles Daily News

Dave Barry's Greatest Hits

71fdf31e-e5b4-4f47-92f0-eef5ee3c02f9-1

Heavy Paperback (2 to 4 lbs)

Tennessee

Pulitzer Prize-winning humorist Dave Barry is a pretty amiable guy. But lately, he’s been getting a little worked up. What could make a mild-mannered man of words so hot under the collar? Well, a lot of things–like bad public art, Internet millionaires, SUVs, Regis Philbin . . . and even bigger problems, like • The slower-than-deceased-livestock left-lane drivers who apparently believe that the right lane is sacred and must never come in direct contact with tires • The parent-misery quotient of last-minute school science fair projects • Day trading and other careers that never require you to take off your bathrobe • The plague of the low-flow toilets, which is so bad that even in Miami, where you can buy drugs just by opening your front door and yelling “Hey! I want some crack,” you can’t even sell your first born to get a normal-flushing toilet Dave Barry is not taking any of this sitting down. He’s going to stand up for the rights of all Americans against ridiculously named specialty “–chino” coffees and the IRS. Just as soon as he gets the darn toilet flushed.

Dave Barry Is Not Taking This Sitting Down

Humorous look at the many aspects of travel from air travel to European bus tours.

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