Justin Halpern

Light Hardcover (1 lb or less)

Texas

After being dumped by his longtime girlfriend, the 29-year-old author moves in with his 73-year-old dad, whose straightforward, expletive-laden advice and opinions became a hit on Twitter and are now offered in a hilarious collection. 50,000 first printing.

Sh*t My Dad Says

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Minimal marks and some sticker residue on dust jacket. Physical book is in perfect “like new” condition. Clean interior. #oliviajoules #helenfielding #bridgetjones #spy #action #funny #romance #fastpaced 

Hardcover (1 to 2 lbs)

Journalist-turned-spy Olivia Joules finds herself drawn to Pierre Ferramo, a man of impeccable taste and extraordinary wealth, until she begins to worry that he is an international terrorist hiding behind a sophisticated smokescreen.

Olivia Joules and the Overactive Imagination

38c0b08d-a698-4c09-8162-2988974610c4-1

Mike Knudson

Steve Wilkinson

Gift message on inner cover. Price sticker on dust sleeve.

Best friends Raymond and Graham have looked forward to being the "oldest, coolest, toughest" boys at East Millcreek Elementary School, but from the start of fourth grade everything goes wrong, from getting the scary teacher to not getting the lead in theschool play.

Raymond and Graham Rule the School

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Rated a respectable 3.8 out of 5 on Goodreads.
Hardcover book in like new condition with the exception of a slight ripple across the top and bottom of the jacket cover from shelving

Maryland

Lies That Chelsea Handler Told Me

730fbdf9-aff8-4265-b129-8ce732221338-1

James Patterson

Chris Grabenstein

Illinois

In his new middle grade novel that debuted at #1 on the New York Times bestseller list, James Patterson introduces his hilarious new heroine, Jacky Ha-Ha, a class clown who makes people laugh with her so they can't laugh at her. With her irresistible urge to tell a joke in every situation--even when she really, really shouldn't--twelve-year-old Jacky Ha-Ha loves to make people laugh. And cracking wise helps distract her from thinking about not-so-funny things in her life, like her mom serving in a dangerous, faraway war, and a dad who's hardly ever home. But no matter how much fun Jacky has, she can't seem to escape her worries. So one starlit night, she makes a promise to keep her family together...even if she has to give up the one thing that makes her happy. But can she stop being Jacky Ha-Ha, if that's who she really is?

Jacky Ha-Ha

6bb552ba-0cf8-4263-8275-3e07327654a5-1

Delaware

Beware of the Dog!

Dr. Noel Zone is BACK to make YOU into a qualified Level 2 Dangerologist in this wacky handbook about how to avoid danger of even more kinds--from dinosaurs to volcanoes to the circus--plus the overwhelming danger of a real live puppy! A little dog called Napkin has come to stay, but every POD (Pupil of Dangerology) knows the only safe pet is a pet rock. As Napkin wreaks havoc around the Dangerzone, Dr. Noel will have to work up the courage to keep teaching (and to leave the safety of his wardrobe)!

With art on every page, silly acronyms, and recurring characters, this hilarious follow-up to Danger Is Everywhere is perfect for readers of all ages who are looking for a laugh!


Danger Is Still Everywhere

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Julie Powell

A Story of Marriage, Meat, and Obsession

The popular blogger describes how in the wake of a strain on her marriage she left town to immerse herself in the art of butchery, the laborious training she received, and her journeys throughout the world in search of the butchery practices of other cultures.

Cleaving

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Scott Johnston

Campusland

eb1d6906-a7e9-470c-9c83-d47686f47c2c-1

Brian Hartt

Jeff Foxworthy

New York

A humorous guide to help readers embrace the knowledge that they stink at playing golf offers suggestions to insure that their game remains as bad as possible for the rest of their lives, from pre-game rituals to swearing.

How to Really Stink at Golf

8ed392f8-50e2-45f7-9661-b31286283025-1

Ambitious Becca Reinhart enjoys her solo life, as does footloose playboy Edward Kirkland, but their lives are turned upside down when the two strangers receive co-guardianship of spirited four-year-old Emily.

Family Trust

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A New Collection of Utterly Useless Information

That's a Fact Jack!

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#hardcover #fiction #regatta #funny #watercops

Who else but Joseph Wambaugh could write "a joy, a hoot, a riot of a book" that is also acclaimed as "one of this season's best crime novels"? That's how The New York Times Book ReviewandTime, respectively, described his last novel,Finnegan's Week. Nobody writes a faster, funnier, more satisfying tale of cops and criminals, the high life and lowlifes that Wambaugh--andFloatersis his sharpest yet. Mick Fortney and his partner Leeds manage to cruise above the standard police stress-pools of coffee and Pepto-Bismol--they're water cops in the "Club Harbor Unit," manning a patrol boat on San Diego's Mission Bay. A typically rough day's detail consists of scoping out body-sculpted beauties on pleasure craft, rescuing boating bozos who've run aground, jeering at lifeguards, and hauling in the occasional floater who comes to the surface. But now their days are anything but typical, because the America's Cup international sailing regattas have come to town and suddenly San Diego is swarming with yacht crazies of every nationality, the cuppies who want to love them, and the looky-look tourists, racing spies, scam artists, and hookers who all want their piece of the action. It's the outstanding body and jaunty smile--full of mischief, full of hell--of one cuppie, a particularly fiery redhead named Blaze, that gets Leeds and Fortney's attention. First Leeds drowns in frustratingly unrequited boozy love from afar. Then, with her increasingly odd behavior, Blaze tweaks every one of their cop instincts, alerting them that something's not quite right on the waterfront. Indeed, Blaze will soon lead Detective Anne Zorn and Mick Fortney along a bizarre criminal trail that would be hilarious if it didn't wind up just as nasty as it gets, with a pair of murders right on the eve of the biggest sailing race of all. Filled with all of Joseph Wambaugh's trademark skills--laugh-out-loud writing, crackling dialogue, outrageous excitement, and, of course, plenty of raunchy veteran cops who leap off the page--Floatersis Wambaugh at the very to of his form. From the Paperback edition.

Floaters

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Minnesota

A Novel

"A novel about aging, family, loneliness, and love from one of America's greatest comic novelists"--

They May Not Mean to, but They Do

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#hardcover #fiction #bignate #kids #childrens #kidscomedy #funny #juvenile #illustrated 

Mississippi

The fifth Big Nate novel in the New York Times bestselling series by Lincoln Peirce! Big Nate is a New York Times bestseller! Here comes the latest illustrated novel from Lincoln Peirce, all about king of detention and cartooning genius Nate Wright! Everyone knows N-A-T-E does not equal N-E-A-T! And when Nate's sloppiness gets out of hand, his best friend, Francis, is in serious trouble. Can Nate clean up his act, or will he flip out first? "Big Nate is funny, big time."—Jeff Kinney, author of Diary of a Wimpy Kid Includes a sneak peek of the next Big Nate novel, Big Nate: In the Zone!

Big Nate Flips Out

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#hardcover #bignate #activitybook #kids #childrensbooks #childrensactivitybooks #juvenile #kidscomedy #illustrated #funny 

Awesome Activity Book 

Big Nate himself would love Big Nate Doodlepalooza by Lincoln Peirce, a super-cool activity book that's jam-packed with over 150 boredom-blasting activities. Big Nate is a self-described genius. Instead of doing homework, he’d rather do these all-new brain-busting crossword puzzles, mazes, Sudoku puzzles, secret codes, and famous scribble games. Big Nate is the king of cartooning, so he’d love the goofy cartoons of his BFFs, Francis and Teddy, know-it-all Gina, his archrival, Artur, and un-favorite teacher, Mrs. Godfrey, a.k.a. Godzilla. And as a kid who thinks highly of himself, he’d be totally excited to take a trivia challenge all about, well, him. The Big Nate Doodlepalooza is a wonderful addition to the bestselling collection of Big Nate books, sure to be enjoyed by all aspiring cartoonists and fans of Big Nate.

Big Nate Doodlepalooza

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Allison Pearson

Virginia

"Allison Pearson's brilliant debut novel, I Don't Know How She Does It, was a New York Times bestseller with four million copies sold around the world. Called "the definitive social comedy of working motherhood" (The Washington Post) and "a hysterical look--in both the laughing and crying senses of the world--at the life of Supermom" (The New York Times), I Don't Know How She Does It introduced Kate Reddy, a woman as sharp as she was funny. As Oprah Winfrey put it, Kate's story became "the national anthem for working mothers." Seven years later, Kate Reddy is facing her 50th birthday. Her children have turned into impossible teenagers; her mother and in-laws are in precarious health; and her husband is having a midlife crisis that leaves her desperate to restart her career after years away from the workplace. Once again, Kate is scrambling to keep all the balls in the air in a juggling act that an early review from the U.K. Express hailed as "sparkling, funny, and poignant...a triumphant return for Pearson." Will Kate reclaim her rightful place at the very hedge fund she founded, or will she strangle in her new "shaping" underwear? Will she rekindle an old flame, or will her house burn to the ground when a rowdy mob shows up for her daughter's surprise (to her parents) Christmas party? Surely it will all work out in the end. After all, how hard can it be?"--

How Hard Can It Be?

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Janet Evanovich

Ohio

Twelve Sharp

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Annie Barrows

North Carolina

From the New York Times bestselling author of Ivy + Bean comes a hilarious new series featuring a high-energy, lovable troublemaker.

Meet 9-year-old Iggy Frangi. He's not a bad kid, he's really not. Okay, so he's done a few (a few is anything up to 100) bad things. And okay, he's not very sorry about most of them. People make a big deal about nothing. What's a little pancake here and there? Is that something to get mad about? Iggy doesn't think so. No one got hurt, so there's no problem. No one got hurt except for that one time, that one time when the Best Idea Ever turned into the Worst Idea of All Time.

Iggy is sorry he did it. He is really, really, really sorry.


"For what?" you might ask. "What did he do?"

Well, you'll have to read the book to find out.

Things Iggy will NOT do in this book:
Be the most polite kid ever.
Play the cello.
Think before acting.
Learn a lesson.
Regret his actions. (Most of them, anyway.)

The Best of Iggy

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#hardcover #protectivecover #formerlibrarybook #humor #funny #brilliant

California

'Brett performs his magic on the traditional cozy,making the frame rock with laughter at human foibles and quake with well-placed surprises' - Booklist Starred Review

The genteel game of Real Tennis takes a murderous twist in Simon Brett's witty and entertaining new Fethering mystery

Jude's life has been turned upside-down thanks her new mant, Piers Targett, who's keen to get her involved in his hobby - or obsession - of Real Tennis. But when one of Piers' friends dies on the court in suspicious circumstances, Jude finds herself caught up in the police investigation. Meanwhile, Jude's neighbour Carole is trying to identify the human remains known locally as the 'Lady in the Lake.' As the two investigations become intertwined, Carole and Jude's efforts to find the truth look set to lead to more murders.


Simon Brett is the winner of The CWA Diamond Dagger 2014.

Corpse on the Court

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Matt Phelan

Nevada

“Absurdly entertaining. Victorious on all fronts.”—Booklist (starred review) Renowned for their courage, their chivalry, and their ability to fight mythical creatures, the Knights of the Round Table face a new band of dangerous opponents—MONSTERS! In the rip-roaring sequel to Matt Phelan’s acclaimed Knights vs. Dinosaurs, four daring knights and one intrepid archer face off against legendary monsters. This heavily illustrated middle grade adventure is a hilarious tale of derring-do that is perfect for reluctant readers and fans of The Terrible Two and The Wild Robot. Award-winning creator Matt Phelan’s Knights vs. Monsters is a highly illustrated, fast-paced adventure full of uproarious knightly hijinks, surprising secrets, and terrifying monsters. When a magical boat sweeps the Knights of the Round Table off to Scotland, they take on the evil Queen Morgause and her horde of monsters. With art on nearly every page, including an epic fight scene depicted in several graphic-novel style spreads, this engaging story is ideal for reluctant readers, aspiring knights, and fans of Gordon Korman’s Masterminds. “This rollicking story is suspenseful and silly. An excellent choice for all readers.”—School Library Journal (starred review)

Knights vs. Monsters

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Book is in great condition! A small handful of pages that had pencil writing that has been erased or can be, but most pages are clean and unused. 

Oregon

Have you ever wondered what to do when you meet an alien? Want to know the top ten hiding places if you're on the run? Or how to create the perfect beach day in your backyard? Find out in this jam-packed guide to life by Phineas and Ferb featuring tips, activities, and the show's trademark wacky humor. From diagrams of Phineas and Ferb's craziest inventions, to fun quizzes and trivia, to unfinished comic panels for readers to get creative, this awesome new hardcover format is sure to be a hit with fans of the imaginative stepbrothers.

Phineas and Ferb's Guide to Life

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Dav Pilkey

New Jersey

Having changed the course of human history after unwittingly wondering what could be worse than going to prison, George and Harold are catapulted through time back to their kindergarten days, where they are subjected to a sixth-grade bully and a clueless school principal.

Captain Underpants and the Terrifying Return of Tippy Tinkletrousers

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Andrew Clements

Nick Allen has has plenty of ideas. Who can forget the time he turned the classroom into a tropical island? But now Nick is in Mrs Granger's class, it looks like his days as a troublemaker are over.

The Report Card & Frindle bundle 

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Kathryn Petras

Ross Petras

Light Paperback (1 lb or less)

Uncommon Wisdom for Uncommon Times

Uncommon times call for uncommon wisdom. It's inspiring to hear from people who've graduated from the school of hard knocks, yet kept a sense of humor. People like Twain, Voltaire, Oscar Wilde. People who've said the thing so well that we all wish we'd said it. People who've been there, done that, and refuse to sugarcoat what they've learned. People who know, as Sherry Hochman puts it, that "Every day is a gift--even if it sucks."



From Kathryn and Ross Petras, curators of craziness (and surprising smarts), comes a timely collection of reassuring reality:



"Why is there so much month left at the end of the money?"--John Barrymore



"October. This is one of the peculiarly dangerous months to speculate in stocks in. The others are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August, and February." --Mark Twain



"I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish he didn't trust me so much."--Mother Teresa



"When one burns one's bridges, what a very nice fire it makes."--Dylan Thomas



"If you think you have it tough, read history books."--Bill Maher



And Voltaire: "Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats."

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Justin Halpern

Sh*t My Dad Says

Helen Fielding

Olivia Joules and the Overactive Imagination

Mike Knudson; Steve Wilkinson

Raymond and Graham Rule the School

Chelsea Handler (Introduction by); Chelsea's Family, Friends, and Other Victims

Lies That Chelsea Handler Told Me

James Patterson; Chris Grabenstein

Jacky Ha-Ha

David O'Doherty; Chris Judge (Illustrator)