Light Hardcover (1 lb or less)

Arizona

A Love Story

Waking up after a fantastic night only to discover that his girlfriend is a vampire and has transformed him into one, Thomas C. Flood adapts to his new powers while dealing with a dangerous faction of bloodsuckers trying to kill off all other vampires.

You Suck

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Alabama

Collection of witty quotes 

Quotable Sex

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#juvenilefiction #hardcover #DangerIsStillEverywhere  #funny #pets 

New York

Beware of the Dog!

Dr. Noel Zone is BACK to make YOU into a qualified Level 2 Dangerologist in this wacky handbook about how to avoid danger of even more kinds--from dinosaurs to volcanoes to the circus--plus the overwhelming danger of a real live puppy! A little dog called Napkin has come to stay, but every POD (Pupil of Dangerology) knows the only safe pet is a pet rock. As Napkin wreaks havoc around the Dangerzone, Dr. Noel will have to work up the courage to keep teaching (and to leave the safety of his wardrobe)!

With art on every page, silly acronyms, and recurring characters, this hilarious follow-up to Danger Is Everywhere is perfect for readers of all ages who are looking for a laugh!


Danger Is Still Everywhere

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Like new. Never read. #nonfiction #relationships #family #funny #humor 

Texas

After being dumped by his longtime girlfriend, the 29-year-old author moves in with his 73-year-old dad, whose straightforward, expletive-laden advice and opinions became a hit on Twitter and are now offered in a hilarious collection. 50,000 first printing.

Sh*t My Dad Says

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Max Wirestone

Hardcover (1 to 2 lbs)

A Novel (IRL)

Veronica Mars meets the World of Warcraft in The Unfortunate Decisions of Dahlia Moss, a mystery romp with a most unexpected heroine.

If it were up to me this book would be called Hilarious Things That Happened That Were Not At All Dahlia's Fault -- or HTTHTWNAADF, for short.
OK, I probably shouldn't have taken money from a mysterious eccentric to solve a theft, given that I'm not a detective, and that I am sometimes outwitted by puzzles in children's video games. I probably shouldn't have stolen bags of trash from a potential murder suspect. Arguably -- just arguably, mind you -- it may have been unwise to cos-play at an event where I was likely to be shot at.

But sometimes you just have to take some chances, right? And maybe things do get a little unfortunate. What of it? If you ask me, an unfortunate decision here or there can change your life. In a positive way, just so long you don't killed in the process. Admittedly, that's the tricky bit.

The Unfortunate Decisions of Dahlia Moss

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#hardcover #fiction #schoollife #middlegrade #jamespatterson #bestsellingauthor #hahabookclub #middleschool #funny #humor

Oregon

In his new middle grade novel that debuted at #1 on the New York Times bestseller list, James Patterson introduces his hilarious new heroine, Jacky Ha-Ha, a class clown who makes people laugh with her so they can't laugh at her. With her irresistible urge to tell a joke in every situation--even when she really, really shouldn't--twelve-year-old Jacky Ha-Ha loves to make people laugh. And cracking wise helps distract her from thinking about not-so-funny things in her life, like her mom serving in a dangerous, faraway war, and a dad who's hardly ever home. But no matter how much fun Jacky has, she can't seem to escape her worries. So one starlit night, she makes a promise to keep her family together...even if she has to give up the one thing that makes her happy. But can she stop being Jacky Ha-Ha, if that's who she really is?

Jacky Ha-Ha

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Ohio

The author shares her southern-style perspectives on motherhood, offering whimsical advice on surviving real-world challenges, from child foibles to limited finances.

The Sweet Potato Queens' Guide to Raising Children for Fun and Profit

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#hardcover #fiction #ameliabedelia #childrens #hermanparish #humor #kids #silly 

Illinois

The Early Adventures of Amelia Bedelia

220f5f4b-15b4-4c4b-aea3-c68a68d31fb3-1

Peggy Rowe

Mike Rowe

True Stories of a Horse-Crazy Daughter and Her Baseball-Obsessed Mother: a Memoir

A Message from Mike Rowe, the Dirty Jobs Guy: Just to be clear, About My Mother is a book about my grandmother, written by my mother. That’s not to say it’s not about my mother—it is. In fact, About My Mother is as much about my mother as it is about my grandmother. In that sense, it’s really a book about “mothers.” …It is not, however, a book written by me. True, I did write the foreword. But it doesn’t mean I’ve written a book about my mother. I haven’t. Nor does it mean my mother’s book is about her son. It isn’t. It’s about my grandmother. And my mother. Just to be clear.—Mike A love letter to mothers everywhere, About My Mother will make you laugh and cry—and see yourself in its reflection. Peggy Rowe’s story of growing up as the daughter of Thelma Knobel is filled with warmth and humor. But Thelma could be your mother—there’s a Thelma in everyone’s life. Shes the person taking charge—the one who knows instinctively how things should be. Today Thelma would be described as an alpha personality, but while growing up, her daughter Peggy saw her as a dictator—albeit a benevolent, loving one. They clashed from the beginning—Peggy, the horse-crazy tomboy, and Thelma, the genteel-yet-still-controlling mother, committed to raising two refined, ladylike daughters. Good luck. When major league baseball came to town in the early 1950s and turned sophisticated Thelma into a crazed Baltimore Orioles groupie, nobody was more surprised and embarrassed than Peggy. Life became a series of compromises—Thelma tolerating a daughter who pitched manure and galloped the countryside, while Peggy learned to tolerate the whacky Orioles fan who threw her underwear at the television, shouted insults at umpires, and lived by the orange-and-black schedule taped to the refrigerator door. Sometimes, we’re more alike than we know. And in case you’re wondering, Peggy knows a thing or two about dirty jobs herself…

About My Mother

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New Jersey

An A to Zed Guide to Distinctively British Words

From "chips" and "crumbs" to "spending a penny," The Queen's English is your indispensable guide to surviving and thriving in the tricky byways of the English language, which has shown many a poor soul the way out for little more than twanging a vowel, splitting an infinitive or, crime of all crimes, saying dinner instead of tea. With The Queen's English there's no need to become "flummoxed" ever again. This must-have A to Z guide uncovers the quintessential meanings behind more than 100 familiar words and phrases of the distinctively British lexicon, including:

 * By hook or by crook (adv. phrase): It is good to find a phrase in common use that goes back as far as this one, and which appears (though not entirely proven) to link back to England's feudal past. In medieval times when the peasantry were not allowed to cut down trees, they were permitted nonetheless to gather firewood from loose or dead branches which could be obtained using "hook" (bill hook, a traditional cutting tool) or "crook," a staff with a curved end. No doubt the desperate peasant often exceeded the strict use of these tools, and so the sense is to achieve something by whatever means possible. The first recorded use of the phrase is from the fourteenth century.
 * Gazump (vt.): Usually so proud of their reputation for playing fair, the English have a curious blind spot when it comes to buying and selling houses. To "gazump" is to raise the price of a piece of real estate after the sale has been agreed but before the contract is signed, usually on the pretext that the owner has received a higher offer elsewhere. The original buyer is then forced to raise their offer or the property goes to the higher bidder. This unethical but not illegal practice appeared first with the spelling "gazoomph" and was derived from an older and more general term "gazumph" (or gezumph) for the various kinds of swindling that go on at dishonest auctions.
 * In a nutshell (adv. phrase): "Oh God, I could be bounded in a nutshell and count myself a King of infinite space..." cries Hamlet in Shakespeare's tragic play. But the meaning of the expression, namely, to put much into a small space, goes way back to classical times, to Pliny's Natural History where he writes: "Cicero records that a parchment copy of Homer's poem The Iliad was enclosed in a nutshell (in nuce)." In Shakespeare's own time, a Bible is said to have been produced that could fit into a nutshell, and that curiosity may have come to the playwright's notice.
 * People like us (np.): Often abbreviated to PLU, this phrase is used by those of a certain social class to approve of others as acceptable by birth and station, and originates in the 1940s milieu typified by the artistic, wayward, and eccentric Mitford sisters, daughters of the second Baron Redesdale. We get a flavor of the attitude where Nancy Mitford, in a letter to her sister Jessica (August 28, 1957), declared that "People Like Us are never killed in earthquakes ...." Nancy refined the art of social class distinctions in her book Noblesse Oblige with a list of subtle differences in vocabulary first defined as U (upper class) and non-U (aspriring middle class) by the sociolinguist Alan Ross in 1954.

So if you ever wanted to know what it means to be a "meat-and-potatoes man," a "lame duck," or to be in a "pretty pickle," stop "umming and erring" and read this fascinating collection "straightaway."

The Queen's English

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Janet Evanovich

South Dakota

Lean Mean Thirteen

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#funny #memoir #humor #billycrystal #nonfiction #hardcover 

Still Foolin' 'Em Billy Crystal Autobiography Abridged 2013 New Hardcover

Brand new book. Never read or used.

Item pictured is the actual item listed and what the buyer will receive. See photos for details.

Ships with either USPS Media Mail. Orders processed within one business day. 

Publisher	‎Henry Holt and Co.; First Edition (September 10, 2013)
Language	‎English
Hardcover	‎288 pages
ISBN-10	‎0805098208
ISBN-13	‎978-0805098204
Item Weight	‎1.13 pounds
Dimensions	‎6.46 x 1 x 9.63 inches



Georgia

Where I've Been, Where I'm Going, and Where the Hell Are My Keys?

As he prepares to turn 65, one of America's favorite comedians looks back at his extraordinary career, highlighting the most powerful and memorable moments of his long and storied life, and outlines, with his trademark wit and heart, the absurdities and challenges that come with growing old. 1,000,000 first printing.

Still Foolin' 'Em

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Carrie Fisher

"Now that she's conquered rehab and romance, best-selling novelist Carrie Fisher boldly goes where no man has gone before: motherhood." "Hollywood screenwriter Cora Sharpe has taken to writing letters to the unborn child she's tentatively dubbed Esme - even though it sounds like a noise your nose makes. But then, Cora has what one of the endless intimates she thinks of as her Committee calls "a big loud life," and recent events have been no exception. Her confidant and writing partner, Bud, has been on a bipolar roller coaster. Her dear friend William, AIDS-ridden, has finally taken leave of his life, with the aplomb befitting "a suburban show business sultan." And in the vacuum that follows his departure, Cora's romance with quiet, gentle Ray has suddenly flickered and expired." "Then Cora finds out she's pregnant, and even the Committee can't steer her through this one. In a fight-or-flight confrontation with maturity, flight seems to have the upper hand. So when her mother, Viv, tries to rally support for her latest madcap scheme - to kidnap her Alzheimer's-stricken father from a nursing home and take him back to Whitewright, Texas, the place of his birth - Cora, for once, is game. With Bud in tow, she signs on for what turns out to be a cosmic (not to mention comic) exploration of the urges that drive us to feather our nests and fill them, to flee them and find our way home." "With singular deftness, Fisher captures the ambivalence and absurdity of modern maternity, in her wittiest and wisest novel to date."--BOOK JACKET.Title Summary field provided by Blackwell North America, Inc. All Rights Reserved

Delusions of Grandma

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#hardcover #fiction #youngadultfiction #brothersandsisters #humor #paperback #contemporary #chicklit 

Save The Date 

Chip Gaines

Maryland

Smart Things I've Learned by Doing Stupid Stuff

The most important step is taking the first one. Capital Gaines is the perfect book for anyone looking to succeed not only in business but more importantly in life.

Capital Gaines

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California

Who is Ted L. Nancy? He's a concerned hotel guest searching for a lost tooth... He's a superstitious Vegas high-roller who wants to gamble at a casino in his lucky shrimp outfit... He's the genius inventor of "Six Day Underwear"... He's a demanding dramatist seeking an audience for his play about his 26-year-old dog, Cinnamon... He's the proud owner of Charles, a 36-year-old cat who owes his longevity to a pet food company... He's a loyal fan of the King of Tonga... He is, in reality, a twisted prankster -- a supremely off-kilter alter ego who sends patently ridiculous letters and queries to (and receives surprisingly earnest responses back from) corporate honchos, entertainment conglomerates, national publications, politicians, celebrities and heads of state to everyone, in fact, from the president of the Bon Ami Cleanser Company to U.S. Vice President Al Gore. Letters From A Nut is an insanely inspired, truly madcap collection of Nancy correspondence, a laugh-out-loud-in-public-places aggregation of official -- and officially certifiable -- requests, complaints, fan mail and questions that could not possibly have been taken seriously...but, amazingly, were! Dear Mr. Nancy:"It is not often that we receive such enthusiastic support for the paper bag." --The Paper Bag Council "On behalf of Greyhound, there should be no problem traveling while in your butter costume." --Greyhound Bus Lines "I look forward to working with you to create a better future for this great nation." -- Vice President Al Gore "An unending stream of some of the most hilarious exchanges I've ever read. Everyone I lent this book to just read it and laughed out loud like I did. It's so simple, yet totally inventive. I'm sure some sort of mail fraud charges could be brought to stop this man but, personally, I hope they never catch him." --Jerry Seinfeld

Letters from a Nut

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#hardcover #humor #nonfiction #chelseahandler #biography 

Wisconsin

Wherever Chelsea Handler travels, one thing is certain: she always ends up in the land of the ridiculous. Now, in this uproarious collection, she sneaks her sharp wit through airport security and delivers her most absurd and hilarious stories ever. On safari in Africa, it's anyone's guess as to what's more dangerous: the wildlife or Chelsea. But whether she's fumbling the seduction of a guide by not knowing where tigers live (Asia, duh) or wearing a bathrobe into the bush because her clothes stopped fitting seven margaritas ago, she's always game for the next misadventure. The situation gets down and dirty as she defiles a kayak in the Bahamas, and outright sweaty as she escapes from a German hospital on crutches. When things get truly scary, like finding herself stuck next to a passenger with bad breath, she knows she can rely on her family to make matters even worse. Thank goodness she has the devoted Chunk by her side-except for the time she loses him in Telluride. Complete with answers to the most frequently asked traveler's questions, hot travel trips, and travel etiquette, none of which should be believed, UGANDA BE KIDDING ME has Chelsea taking on the world, one laugh-out-loud incident at a time.

Uganda Be Kidding Me

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Colin Murphy

Donal O'Dea

An award winning book for best humor.
By for yourself; makes a great gift too!!

A Gansey-Load of Deadly Craic for Cute Hoors and Bowsies

The Feckin' Book of Everything Irish

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Laura Clery

Alaska

Life Stories from the Creator of Help Helen Smash

From YouTube star and Facebook Video sensation Laura Clery comes a collection of comedic essays in the vein of We Are Never Meeting in Real Life by Samantha Irby and You’ll Grow Out of It by Jessi Klein. Laura Clery makes a living by sharing inappropriate comedy sketches with millions of strangers on the Internet. She writes songs about her anatomy, talks trash about her one-eyed rescue pug, and sexually harasses her husband, Stephen. And it pays the bills! Now, in her first-ever book, Laura recounts how she went from being a dangerously impulsive, broke, unemployable, suicidal, cocaine-addicted narcissist, crippled by fear and hopping from one toxic romance to the next…to a more-happy-than-not, somewhat rational, meditating, vegan yogi with good credit, a great marriage, a fantastic career, and four unfortunate-looking rescue animals. Still, above all, Laura remains an amazingly talented, adorable, and vulnerable, self-described…Idiot. With her signature brand of offbeat, no-holds-barred humor, Idiot introduces you to a wildly original—and undeniably relatable—new voice.

Idiot

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Lois Wyse

Missouri

Chronicles the experiences of the modern-day grandmother, offering advice on how to help parenting children, when to butt in and out of their affairs, and tips on careers and family life

Funny, You Don't Look Like a Grandmother

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#hardcover #nonfiction #autobiography #celebrity #fiction #biography #humor #amyschumer 

#1 New York Times Bestseller "Amy Schumer's book will make you love her even more. For a comedian of unbridled (and generally hilarious) causticity, Schumer has written a probing, confessional, unguarded, and, yes, majorly humanizing non-memoir, a book that trades less on sarcasm, and more on emotional resonance." —Vogue "The Girl with the Lower Back Tattoo is an alternatingly meditative, sexually explicit, side-splittingly hilarious, heart-wrenching, disturbing, passionately political, and always staggeringly authentic ride through the highs and lows of the comedic powerhouse's life to date." —Harper's Bazaar "This is your happy hour with Amy Schumer...It's Bossypants meets Trainwreck meets your long weekend." —TheSkimm “Amy’s got your back. She’s in your corner. She’s an honesty bomb. And she’s coming for you.” —Actress Tilda Swinton and Trainwreck co-star The Emmy Award-winning comedian, actress, writer, and star of Inside Amy Schumer and the acclaimed film Trainwreck has taken the entertainment world by storm with her winning blend of smart, satirical humor. Now, Amy Schumer has written a refreshingly candid and uproariously funny collection of (extremely) personal and observational essays. In The Girl with the Lower Back Tattoo, Amy mines her past for stories about her teenage years, her family, relationships, and sex and shares the experiences that have shaped who she is—a woman with the courage to bare her soul to stand up for what she believes in, all while making us laugh. Ranging from the raucous to the romantic, the heartfelt to the harrowing, this highly entertaining and universally appealing collection is the literary equivalent of a night out with your best friend—an unforgettable and fun adventure that you wish could last forever. Whether she’s experiencing lust-at-first-sight while in the airport security line, sharing her own views on love and marriage, admitting to being an introvert, or discovering her cross-fit instructor’s secret bad habit, Amy Schumer proves to be a bighearted, brave, and thoughtful storyteller that will leave you nodding your head in recognition, laughing out loud, and sobbing uncontrollably—but only because it’s over.

The Girl with the Lower Back Tattoo

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Justin Halpern

Some sticker residue on back cover. Interior is still in perfect “like new” condition. #leslielandis #theartofovereating #funny #comedy #humor 

A Bellyful of Laughs about Our Food-Phobic Culture

Offers a humorous look at American eating habits and culture.

The Art of Overeating

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Tina Fey

The breakout star of Saturday Night Live and Thirty Rock gives a humorous account of her life, as well as behind-the-scenes stories from her hit shows. 1 million first printing.

Save this search

Christopher Moore

You Suck

Carole McKenzie (Compiled by)

Quotable Sex

David O'Doherty; Chris Judge (Illustrator)

Danger Is Still Everywhere

Justin Halpern

Sh*t My Dad Says

Max Wirestone

The Unfortunate Decisions of Dahlia Moss

James Patterson; Chris Grabenstein; Kerascoët (Illustrator)

Jacky Ha-Ha

Jill Conner Browne

The Sweet Potato Queens' Guide to Raising Children for Fun and Profit

Herman Parish; Lynne Avril (Illustrator)

The Early Adventures of Amelia Bedelia

Peggy Rowe; Mike Rowe

About My Mother

C. J. Moore

The Queen's English

Janet Evanovich

Lean Mean Thirteen

Billy Crystal

Still Foolin' 'Em

Carrie Fisher

Delusions of Grandma

Morgan Matson

Save The Date

Chip Gaines

Capital Gaines

Ted L. Nancy

Letters from a Nut

Chelsea Handler

Uganda Be Kidding Me

Colin Murphy; Donal O'Dea

The Feckin' Book of Everything Irish

Laura Clery

Idiot

Lois Wyse

Funny, You Don't Look Like a Grandmother

Amy Schumer

The Girl with the Lower Back Tattoo

Justin Halpern

Sh*t My Dad Says

Leslie Landis

The Art of Overeating

Tina Fey

Bossypants