Merrill Markoe

Light Paperback (1 lb or less)

Ohio

A Novel

At forty-seven, Gil is the world's oldest twenty-two-year-old man, living in relative contentment with his four dogs, including the alpha, Jimmy. When he stumbles upon Jimmy delivering lectures on canine manipulative techniques to the rest of the dogs in the neighborhood, Gil's not particularly surprised, and his eyes light up with dollar signs. But their money-making venture has barely begun when chatty canine Jimmy realizes the shocking truth: He's adopted. And not only is Gil not his real father, they're not even the same species. In the identity crisis that ensues, Gil hears the last thing he wants his favorite dog to say: Jimmy wants to be reunited with his birth mother, a bitch owned by Gil's sexy ex-wife, now remarried and living in Malibu. Could things get worse? Apparently, yes.

Nose down, Eyes Up

a79a2bc4-fb00-43e4-a350-3528488f2de1-1

Florida

With her life rapidly falling apart in the wake of two divorces and her boyfriend dumping her, Dawn discovers that Chuck, a mixed-breed dog she had adopted from a local animal shelter, can talk and that he may have some solutions to her problems.

Walking in Circles Before Lying Down

338475e3-c6a9-420e-8431-9f8ba0ea71f1-1

Hardcover (1 to 2 lbs)

Louisiana

The Early Diaries of Merrill Markoe

“Merrill Markoe got all the talent. In addition to being an Emmy-award winning comedy writer, she's also a top-notch artist. We Saw Scenery is revealing, sad, funny, and, above all, relatable. Merrill captures the experience of a young woman finding—and holding onto—her own voice. And we’re all lucky she did.” —Nell Scovell, author of Just the Funny Parts In her first-ever graphic memoir, four-time Emmy-winning comedy writer Merrill Markoe unearths her treasured diaries, long kept under lock and key, to illustrate the hilarious story of her preteen and teen years and how she came to realize that her secret power was her humor. Wielding her layered and comically absurd style, Markoe takes readers back through her time as a Girl Scout, where she learned that “scouting” was really more about learning housewifery skills, to her earliest crushes on uniquely awful boys and her growing obsession with television. Much has changed in our world since Markoe wrote in her diaries, or has it? Climate change wasn’t yet a rallying call, but the growing hole in the ozone preoccupied Markoe’s young mind. No one was flocking to the desert for Burning Man, but Markoe readily partook in the Ken Kesey Acid Test. As she charts the divide between her adolescence and adulthood, Markoe questions and berates her younger self, revealing how much is opaque to us in those young years. Perfect for fans of Roz Chast, Allie Brosh, and Lynda Barry, We Saw Scenery is a laugh-out-loud story of a girl growing up, told from the perspective of the woman she became, and it will speak to all who wanted to understand themselves in the midst of their own maturing.

We Saw Scenery

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Alabama

Illinois

Light Hardcover (1 lb or less)

Connecticut

And Other Amazing Things I've Learned

Women, their dogs, and their men (in about that order of importance) are the subjects of these hilarious pieces by the Emmy Award-winning former writer for Late Night with David Letterman. Markoe, who knows the difficulties of being a smart woman in an insane world, offers deliriously funny reflections on life in the '90s.

What the Dogs Have Taught Me

74e72f55-6796-46b4-8382-85d538a2a945-1

Michigan

Kansas

South Carolina

Award-winning comedy writer Merrill Markoe, the slightly warped mind behind Stupid Pet Tricks, is an old hand with dogs. She knows who’s boss (they are) and the myriad ways a loving pet can make you feel guilty twenty-four hours a day. This new edition of Merrill Markoe’s classic collection of humorous essays gives readers the choicest selections along with brand-new material.

In these razor-sharp essays, Markoe recounts her dogs’ phone chats with animal communicators, her search for past lives, and her brief stint as a stun gun saleswoman. She describes the workshop that taught her how to launch an Internet porn business and another that gave proper instruction in the esoteric art of becoming a dominatrix.

She shares insight into what it is like to structure your day using only dog rules, how to spot a really horrible restaurant, and what it’s like to have a romantic dinner with Fabio. There’s even a bright side to preparing for the apocalypse: “At last, it is time to forget about fat grams and low cholesterol.” This enchantingly rambunctious and boundlessly enjoyable book gives you Merrill Markoe at her best. You’ll devour it in one sitting (and so may your pet).

Colorado

Stamped “The Book Shelf” on first page.

Missouri

South Dakota

New York

It's My F---Ing Birthday

ef465120-bd47-41bb-a28e-5125bc3df8e3-0

New Jersey

Minor scuffs on front cover (top, as seen in picture) but book itself is in excellent condition. 

some light wear on the dust cover but the interior is in good condition #hardcover #fiction #dog #fantasy #dogs #animals #feelgood

With her life rapidly falling apart in the wake of two divorces, her dysfunctional parents and sister, and her boyfriend dumping her for another woman, Dawn is stunned to discover that Chuck, a mixed breed dog she had adopted from a local animal shelter, can talk and that he may have some effective solutions to her problems. 35,000 first printing.

#paperback #fiction #animals #dogsview #pet

Dawn Tarnauer’s life isn’t exactly a success story. Already twice divorced, the young Californian is too busy job-hopping to start a career, her current boyfriend insists on living “off the grid,” her Life Coach sister perpetually interferes with incomprehensible affirmations, her eccentric mother is busy promoting the culmination of her life’s work: The Every Holiday Tree, and her father is ending his brief third marriage while scheduling two dates for the same night. 

Dawn’s only source of security and comfort, it seems, is Chuck, a pit-bull mix from the pound. So, when her boyfriend announces that he’s leaving her for another woman, a despairing Dawn turns to Chuck for solace. 
“I should have said something sooner,” Chuck confides, as he tries to console her. “Couldn’t you smell her on his pants?” Dawn is stunned. It’s one thing to talk to your pets, but what do you do when they start talking back? It’s not just Chuck, either; she can hear all dogs–and man’s best friend has a lot to say. The ever-enthusiastic Chuck offers his tried-and-true advice on the merits of knocking over garbage and strewing it everywhere, auxiliary competitive peeing etiquette, and the curative powers of tossing a ball. Doubtful of her own sanity, Dawn considers that, in the ways of life and love, it might be better to trust Chuck’s doggie instincts instead of her own. 

Filled with sharp wit, biting humor, and canine conversation that would make Doctor Dolittle’s jaw drop, Merrill Markoe’s engaging, cleverly written novel is about the confusing search for love and the divine acts of dog.


Arkansas

Minnesota

A fun David Letterman book. Lots of laughs. 

Paperback (1 to 2 lbs)

The Book

Late Night with David Letterman

Maine

The best-selling author of Nose Down, Eyes Up presents an original collection of personal essays that celebrates the ridiculousness of topics ranging from losing one's virginity and managing a crazy mother to navigating narcissistic egos and humoring selfish canine companions.

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Merrill Markoe

Nose down, Eyes Up

Merrill Markoe

Walking in Circles Before Lying Down

Merrill Markoe

We Saw Scenery

Merrill Markoe

Nose down, Eyes Up

Merrill Markoe

Walking in Circles Before Lying Down

Merrill Markoe

What the Dogs Have Taught Me

Merrill Markoe

Walking in Circles Before Lying Down

Merrill Markoe

Walking in Circles Before Lying Down

Merrill Markoe

What the Dogs Have Taught Me

Merrill Markoe

Walking in Circles Before Lying Down

Merrill Markoe

Walking in Circles Before Lying Down

Merrill Markoe

Walking in Circles Before Lying Down

Merrill Markoe

We Saw Scenery

Merrill Markoe

It's My F---Ing Birthday

Merrill Markoe

We Saw Scenery

Merrill Markoe

Walking in Circles Before Lying Down

Merrill Markoe

Walking in Circles Before Lying Down

Merrill Markoe

Walking in Circles Before Lying Down

Merrill Markoe

Walking in Circles Before Lying Down

Merrill Markoe

Walking in Circles Before Lying Down

Merrill Markoe

Late Night with David Letterman

Merrill Markoe

Nose down, Eyes Up

Merrill Markoe

Cool, Calm and Contentious

Merrill Markoe

What the Dogs Have Taught Me