Kelly Oxford

Light Paperback (1 lb or less)

Florida





"Well, she's bitingly funny, but everybody knows that." --Roger Ebert on Kelly Oxford

The beautiful--and hilarious--Kelly Oxford has been one of the most hysterical voices on the Internet since it was still a series of tubes. In 1997, she began sharing stories of her life as a young wife and mother on a Geocities page, then on an anonymous blog, then on a MySpace account; eventually she found her métier in the widely followed Tumblr blog "Eject" (kellyoxford.tumblr.com) and in her raucous, often filthy, always hilarious Twitter feed (twitter.com/kellyoxford), which has garnered nearly 160,000 followers (adding 1,500 more each week), with frequent retweets from heavy-hitting fans such as Roger Ebert, Jessica Alba, Tony Hawk, Diablo Cody, Kevin Nealon, Susan Orlean, Ann Curry, Adam McKay, Mindy Kaling, and Jonathan Ames.

There is no mistaking Kelly's voice:

Something people in McDonalds have Fries. Something people in McDonalds don't have Ankles.

Chicken fried steak is the true American story: A place where even a chicken can be a steak.

When my dog smells someone's crotch I say, 'Sorry, she's one of those cancer-smelling dogs.'

Had my son's hearing tested because he's always yelling. Turns out he's just an asshole.

'She's a total psycho.' 'Completely.' 'But I mean, I still like her.' 'Me too, she's sweet.' --two girls beside me, and everywhere, right now

Straight-talking and riotously funny, Kelly Oxford has garnered an incredible following through her trademark blend of biting wit, self-deprecation, and a knack for seeing the hilarity in the everyday. Now, Kelly has written a side-splitting book of essays that shine her blindingly sardonic light on life as she sees it. From childhood to motherhood, from the zany to the tearjerking, Kelly covers it all:

* My Soldier Face: Or how I awkwardly broke into modeling by ignoring adults who thought I was weird

* A Different Kind of Charity: One woman's epic tale of working in a video shop with a robust porno section

* An Open Letter to the Nurse Who Gave Me an Enema Bottle and Told Me to Do It Myself While I Was High on Morphine

* Push: A raw account of reproduction in all its disgusting glory

* What Did You Say About Your Sister's Ass: Bizarre sentiments from the mouths of children

* And much, much more!

Is Kelly the next David Sedaris The next Chelsea Handler The next Sloane Crosley No--they were the last Kelly Oxford.

Everything Is Perfect When You're a Liar

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Maryland

Kelly Oxford is . . . A wunderkind producer of pirated stage productions for six-year-olds Not the queen of the world An underage schnitzel-house dishwasher The kid who stood up to a bully and almost passed out from the resulting adrenaline rush A born salesman Capable of willing her eyesight to be 20/20 That girl who peed her pants in the gas station that one time Totally an expert on strep throat Incapable of making Leonardo DiCaprio her boyfriend A writer A certified therapy assistant who heals with Metallica mixtapes "Not fat enough to be super snuggly." —Bea, age four Not above using raspberry-studded sh*t to get out of a speeding ticket "Bitingly funny. But everybody knows that." —Roger Ebert Sad that David Copperfield doesn't own a falcon A terrible liar

Category - Non Fiction / Biography & Autobiography

Format - Paperback

Condition - Excellent

Listed - 7 months ago

Views - 1

Ships From - Florida

Est. Publication Date - Mar 2014