A single dad, a model, and a comedian walk into a bar… They’re all Owen Brodie. It’s only funny if you aren’t the hilarious struggling comedian who has been hired to be his son’s nanny for the stand-up tour. Dear Ms. Hogan, I’m emailing to offer you the job as my son’s nanny because Sam had a temper tantrum when I told him I can’t hire you to come on my stand-up tour with us. “She heckled me at a club a few years ago,” I wanted to say. “She is the sassy little turd who trolls me on Twitter,” I could have told him. “She’s an even bigger pain in the butt when we’re face-to-face,” I thought to myself. What I would never tell him is—things could get complicated. For reasons. Let me know if you want the job. With great reluctance, Owen #AdorableHowObsessedYouAreWithMe Dear Mr. Brodie, Thank you for your email. Please inform Sam that I like him very much and would love to be his nanny and accompany him on your terrible joke of a stand-up tour. I can assure you—things will not get complicated. For many, many reasons. Primarily because Owen Brodie isn’t funny, and he can suck it. Out of financial desperation and a fondness for your son, Frankie #GetOverYourselfPrettyBoy * This is a standalone single dad/enemies to lovers steamy romantic comedy with crossover characters from the Name in Lights series. DEAR MS. CROSS, Re: Our discussion 1. True. Casting my daughter as the lead in your musical could be considered bribery if people find out I’m investing in it, but no one needs to know. 2. I only want to hire you as Macy’s singing coach so her vocal skills will improve. 3. Maybe if you’d spent less time surfing and more on your singing career, you wouldn’t be in this financial predicament. 4. Re. your living situation—my neighbor has a guest house. If you cast Macy as Alice, I will pay for your first three months’ rent. Do we have a deal? Best regards, Miles Brodie DEAR MR. BRODIE, 1. It absolutely is bribery, but I absolutely need that money for my production. Thanks! 2. It is very cute that you will do anything to get Macy this part, but I would only coach that sweet child as a favor to all mammals with functional hearing. 3. If I spend less time surfing, will you spend less time jogging on my beach with your shirt off? 4. You want to pay me to live next door so you don’t have to drive anywhere to frown at me? 5. I have another condition for casting Macy as Alice—you have to perform the part of the Cheshire Cat. Purrrrrrr, Aria Dear Mr. Brodie, I hope this email finds you well. Your well-being and personal growth are of the utmost importance to me, as a therapist. As such, I have decided it is in your best interest to continue individual therapy with another practitioner. This is due to the potential for boundaries being crossed between us. Attached is a list of colleagues I would recommend for you. Sincerely, Scarlett Shepard, MS, MFT Dear Scarlett, Cool. Consider our sessions terminated. Now I can tell you how beautiful you are and how attracted I am to you. Let’s start crossing boundaries over dinner tonight. You’ll say it would be unethical, and I’ll point out that we’ve only had a few sessions. You’ll cite the age difference, and I’ll tell you how hot it is that you’re six years older than me. You’ll say you’re a mom, and I’ll remind you that I think your son is awesome. We don’t have to discuss my former attachments to former co-stars ever again. This is due to the fact that clearly my only personality issue is that I’m irresistible. Yours in well-being and personal growth, Dylan Brodie, W.M.H.T.A.T.Y.E.H. (Way More Handsome and Talented Actor Than Your Ex-Husband)