1000 Characters: Kelley, Who You Should Know Is NOT A Doctor. When the drunk man stopped making a scene with his actions and started instead to make a scene by being completely action-less, that is, collapsing to the floor in a heap that made him resemble a pile of dirty clothing, Kelley saw his opening. "IS THERE A DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE?" he said loudly in a put-on high voice, trying to sound like a woman but not even coming close. He then stood up from his barstool and said in his own voice, but trying to make it sound lower and what he imagined was 'stentorian' without really knowing what that word meant, "I'm a doctor." He moved quickly towards the heap of man, pulling out his wallet and flashing it at the maitre 'd as if doctors had badges, then knelt by the collapsed man. He pulled a stethoscope out of his coat pocket while saying that someone should call an ambulance. Then he turned the fallen man over and made a show of checking his pulse, a stern look on his face.