Bibliophiliac

Imagine if you will, one bright sunny day you are sitting at an outdoor café, sporting your new sunglasses, halfway through a new book, someone walks up that immediately catches your eye, they also notice you but fail to notice the chair in front of them and proceed to tumble over that same chair to the ground. If, after you help them up, their first words are, “thanks, whatcha reading?” causes your heart to skip a beat, you could be a Bibliophiliac.

A Bibliophiliac is a person who has a love for books. But maybe having a “love for books” is too mild of a word when describing you; you just cannot get enough of a good book which would push you into the class of being a bibliophagist. If you combine being a bibliophagist with also being an abibliophobic, you not only are a voracious reader but you also stress out as you come to the end of a good book because you don’t have another book lined up to read next. As your problems stack up, you respond by becoming a book hoarder and your bookshelf is now overflowing with unread books, you would then have to add what the Japanese call tsundoku to your list of ailments.

If their first words are, “thanks, whatcha reading?” causes your heart to skip a beat, you could be a Bibliophiliac.

If these issues describe you, you may need counseling, but don’t worry, you can probably find a book about that and save the cost of a counselor. But if, in addition to all your other problems, you also suffer from bibliosmia because you love the smell of a real printed book, counseling really will not solve all your problems; the only real solution is to find a cologne that smells like the pages of a real book to gift that person who tripped over the chair at the cafe, then you can live happily ever after with a firm grasp on all your ailments, book in hand of course.